国外也有段子手：快来拜见瓦尔大帝！

亲爱的小伙伴们，大家好啊，“国外也有段子手”又与大家见面啦，经过了本周跌宕起伏的激烈比赛，机智的歪果仁们又有着怎样的真(dou)知(bi)灼(tu)见(cao)呢？让我们先睹为快吧！

【瓦尔蒂叕进球！莱斯特城曼联握手言和】

Odonatoptera(莱斯特城球迷)：告诉我谁将成为今年的英超最佳球员！大声点我听不见！(Tell me who will be the PFA this season, let me hear your cheers!)

Kojakius(热刺球迷)：小点声，不要让弗罗伦蒂诺听见了！(Hush! Don’t let Florentino Pérez hear that!)

blaorka(桑德兰球迷)：瓦尔蒂只需要再连续两场进球，就能打破英格兰足球史上的最长连续进球记录了！接下来的比赛是斯旺西和切尔西，呦，没什么难度嘛！(Vardy needs to score in the next 2 games to break the all-time English record, Swansea and Chelsea. Doable.)

ChipatoI(巴塞罗那球迷)：再接着连续10轮比赛进球就能打破顶级联赛连续进球的世界记录了，猜猜他是谁？加油哦~(And 10 more to beat the world record on the big leagues, you know who I mean, come on!)

Monsteruh(曼联球迷)：范大厨真是够了，就是看我奶奶那帮老太太踢球都比看曼联比赛有意思多了！ (It’s even more interesting to watch my granny playing football  than a boring Man Utd game, f**king LVG.)

【桑大腿伤大腿，阿森纳收获平局】

Deadsouls(阿森纳球迷)：哎呦，这可是我厂4年来的11月和12月赛程的标准模式。(Na it's always November/December the last 4 years.)

MrMarris(阿森纳球迷)：别紧张嘛，到关键时刻罗西基和桑大腿一定能够及时复出，在最后关头力挽狂澜帮助我厂拿到前四的！(Take it easy, that means we are about due for the part of the season where Tomas Rosicky and Sanchez come back from injury, plays like a wizard for a few weeks, and helps us secure a top 4 finish.)

edStannisJr (曼联球迷)：那个时候就可以说：“某某伤愈复出就是最好的引援，我们在1月份不需要买入任何新球员了。”(At that time, "X will be back around the end of January so there's no need to sign anyone, he will be like a new signing")

NotClayMerritt(切尔西球迷)：想带来点变化的话，温格真得在一月买人了。(Wenger really needs to bring some players in January if they still want to make changes.)

Shoecatsz(阿森纳球迷)：你们也一样:) (The same to you :))

【状态火热！巴萨连续大胜】

Callmejoural(切尔西球迷)：能够阻止巴塞罗那的恐怕只有莱斯特城啦！(The only team which can defeat Barcelona now may be Leicester City…)

lethargio13(罗萨里奥中央球迷)：梅西在和罗马的欧冠赛事之前还先打了一场热身赛，怪不得现在状态这么好:) (Messi just experienced a training session before the champions league's match, and that’s why he performed so well :)

mark1nhu(国际米兰球迷)：和皇家社会的比赛最后，内马尔和苏牙是千方百计地给梅老板送饼啊，特别是内马尔还放弃了帽子戏法的机会来给梅西助攻，真是基情燃烧的岁月啊…(Loved how Suarez and Neymar just wanted to make Messi score, setting him up in every possible opportunity. Especially Neymar doesn't giving a shit about a hat trick. This is a rare bromance to be seen.)

Barcelonabezbol(巴塞罗那球迷)：这些都是他从梅西身上学到的:) (He learned it from Messi :))

Kianevans(曼城球迷)：这日子没法过了，还让不让我城愉快地踢欧冠淘汰赛了？(WTF, knockout stages of us in champion league seems to be harder.)

【欧冠联赛双胜利，C罗命中第100粒点球】

NaT3z(拜仁慕尼黑球迷)：即使人们再怎么抹黑C罗的点球数，甚至叫他“点球罗”也好，但这都不能掩盖C罗辉煌的成就的事实。如此高的命中率与进球数，无一不印证着他的努力与刻苦，这值得我们每一个人尊敬。(Regardless of what you might say about how much his penalties contributed to his goal record - calling him Penaldo and giving it as the reason his goals/game career record is so high - this is an incredible conversion ratio for a player with such a large sample, and deserves respect.)

PranjalDwivedi(利物浦球迷)：埃瓦尔之前在联赛里只输了和巴萨、马竞的两场比赛，然而他们却宣称本赛季的目标只是保级。(Eibar's lost only to two teams before, barca and atletico. And to think they were to be relegated this season.)

(朋友，听说过某东方大国的贾指导么…)

ChristofferOslo(皇家马德里球迷)：看到C罗和贝尔亲密地拥抱在一起，真是感动死本宝宝了…现在我们真的需要团结！(It’s so impressive to see Cristiano and Bale warmly embracing each other, it’s just the unity that we need.)

Therealjeagles(阿森纳球迷)：本泽马已经录像了！(Benzema has already recorded it.)

【轻松取胜，拜仁领跑积分榜】

Schnix(弗莱堡球迷)：我是专业做做卫星遥感定位的学生，可我还是定位不出穆勒的跑位…(I’m majoring in satellite remote sensing data geolocation but still can’t find the rules of Muller’s position.)

Trainergott(法兰克福球迷)：别把捕捉穆勒当成你的课题，否则你会毕不了业的….(Don’t select this as your project, or else you’ll lose your degree…)

Schrodinge(拜仁慕尼黑球迷)：让博阿滕踢中场，哈马踢中卫？瓜瓜你是不是脑子有问题？这不是XJBT吗？ 你难道没看见诺伊尔在后面都冻死了，就不考虑把他弄到前面去吗？( Is Boateng playing in midfield? And Javi as CB? Wtf Pep, you are just doing the shit, didn’t you see Neuer has already chilled to the bone and just let him alone?)

看过了众多歪果仁们的真(dou)知(bi)灼(tu)见(cao)，是不是感觉自己的姿势水平进一步提高了呢？好了，亲爱的小伙伴们，本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了，让我们下期不见不散！

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