国外也有段子手：我们正在见证奇迹！

2017/10/15 8:37:59 www.zb8.com.cn 互联网

大家好，欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”！上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，国家德比吸引着全世界的目光，莱斯特城叕以1-0取胜，而意大利主帅孔蒂也将确认在下赛季降临斯坦福桥。好了，话不多说，让我们看看国外段子手们的犀利吐槽吧！

【逆转取胜！齐祖赢得首场国家德比】

(图)别跳了哥们，国家德比要开始了！

blahblahblah34(巴黎圣日尔曼球迷)：C罗用自己的方式向克鲁伊夫致敬，他让诺坎普的观众们在比赛中沉默了第二次。(Cristiano showing his respects to Cruyff by silencing the crowd a second time.)

pienet154(未知主队球迷)：在第65分钟时，巴塞罗那球员看起来对平局都很满意，最终他们为此付出了代价。(Barcelona looked happy with a draw from the 65 minute mark, and were punished for it.)

Now_look_here(阿贾克斯球迷)：C罗竟然回到本方半场回追防守阿尔巴的突破，这是齐达内最伟大的成就。(Zidane's greatest achievement is that ristiano Ronaldo tracks back to cover Jordi Alba's run)

(图)你不会明白努力会给一个人带来多大的改变

Dorrain(皇马球迷)：现在的齐祖还说不上是世界级的名帅，但他给困境之中的皇马带来了久违的稳定和必胜的信念。希望弗罗伦蒂诺能让他长久留下来，虽然这有点不切实际…(He is not (yet) a world class manager by any means, expecting that would be unrealistic, but he brought stability and the winning mentality back. Just hope Flo doesn't fuck this up though THAT'S unrealistic...)

Lokizzle(巴萨球迷)：皇马通过精妙的传球配合接连破门，而巴萨却只能利用角球或反击来寻找机会…等等，好像画风有点不对？(The Real Madrid scored two goals through continuous pass while we could only find opportunities by corners and counter attack. So strange things. )

(图)嘿，你听说过皇马刚刚修建的训练场吗？叫诺坎普！

Ultidarkrex(拉齐奥球迷)：齐达内的时尚品味也是全场最佳哦，如果你深受脱发困扰，那就把头发全剃光了吧！齐祖就是最好的例子，他现在看起来比他球员时期的绝大多数时候还要年轻…(Zidane's fashion sense MotM. He's the best example of "if you start losing your hair, just shave it all off." He looks younger now than most of his career as a player.)

Dojo30(巴伦西亚球迷)：正是由于伟大光头所赐予的力量，齐祖才得以征服一切！(Maybe it’s just the bald head that gave Zizou marvelous power to conquer everthing:)

OnlyHalfAn(巴萨球迷)：唉，要是贝尼特斯也早早地把后脑勺的头发剃光不就完了吗？天知道我多怀念他在皇马的日子…(If only Rafa had the back half of his hair shaved…god knows how I miss his stay in Real Madrid.)

Onpafog (未知主队球迷)：我一直认为自己是无条件支持皇马的死忠球迷，但是上周我妈妈去了趟西班牙，给我带来了一件巴萨球衣，当时我就叛变成巴萨球迷了。现在，皇马又赢了球，我又决定重新支持皇马了…(I usually root for Real Madrid for absolutely no reason. But last week my mom went to Spain and bought me a Barcelona jersey. So I guess I'm a Barcelona fan. But Real win this game so now I may root for them again.)

【剑指冠军！莱斯特城1-0南安普顿】

Distilledwill(莱斯特城球迷)：你敢相信眼前的一切吗？我们正在见证奇迹！(Can you believe that! It’s where miracle happens!)

ShepherdsPye (曼联球迷)：2015 年4月3日，莱斯特城排名英超垫底，距逃离降级区还有7分之遥；2016年4月3日，莱斯特城傲居英超榜首，领先第二名7分之多。真是令人难以置信。 (April 3rd 2015: 20th - 7 points from safety. April 3rd 2016: 1st - 7 points clear. Incredible.)

d0mth0ma5 (桑德兰球迷)：莱斯特城老板在赛后激动地哭了，这对他而言就是最美好的梦境。(Leicester's owner looks like he was about to cry after the match. Absolutely dreamland for him.)

punerisaiyan (利物浦球迷)：在过去的12个月里，莱斯特城在英超赛场拿下了91分，以18分的优势远远超出其他任何球队(热刺、阿森纳都是73分)。(Leicester City have scored 91 points in the last 12 months, 18 points more than any other club (Spurs, Arsenal 73))

Freelance(切尔西球迷)：莱斯特城目前领先第二名7分，这比尤文(6分)、巴萨(6分)和拜仁(5分)领先第二名的优势都要大。(Leicester City's 7 point lead is bigger than Juve's in Italy (6), Barca in Spain (6) & Bayern's in Germany (5))

ClippersFan(土耳其球迷)：巴黎圣日耳曼领先第二名的优势比上述球队的总和还多…(PSG's lead is bigger than all of those combined.)

gwill11(热刺球迷)：现在，我刺看起来就像是阻止灰姑娘嫁给王子的那个坏姐姐一样:( (I feel like one of Cinderella's step-sisters rooting for her not to marry the prince:( )

poolgavinflud (利物浦球迷)：看莱斯特城比赛的最后几分钟，我简直紧张地要死，而它却并不是我的主队！说真的，他们去年差点就降级了，这样我就不会看他们的比赛了。而现在，我却为了他们紧咬手指，在第94分钟祈祷裁判赶紧吹响比赛结束的哨声。(I'm finding myself being a nervous wreck watching the last few minutes of Leicester matches, a team I don't even support! Honestly, last year they could have been relegated and I wouldn't have batted an eyelid and now I'm biting my nails in the 94th minute praying for the final whistle.)

(图)对不住了兄弟们，我还以为只有第一名才不会降级呢~

TyperSniper(南安普顿球迷)：如果莱斯特城在最后的几轮顺利拿到8分的话，他们最终积分就是84分，而莱斯特城正是在1884年成立的…也许冥冥之中自有天意吧！("If they get 8 more points they'll be on 84 points, they were formed in 1884" Well.... is that quite irrelevant?)

SkintCray(曼联球迷)：下赛季，如果莱斯特城、热刺和西汉姆联都去踢欧冠了，英超的欧战积分可能就真的被意甲赶上了…(With Leicester, Tottenham and West Ham playing Europe next year England has a high chance of loosing the 4th champions league spot to Italy.)

Huyiue09(曼城球迷)：让你魔去踢欧冠，估计结果也差不多。(It makes no difference if it were you guys playing UEFA)

【状态就是好！阿森纳取得四球大胜】

friedgold1(阿森纳球迷)：天啦噜，究竟为啥我们会在足总杯里输给它！(WTF…How the hell did we lose to them in the cup?)

fordJoshwright(沃特福德球迷)：你们现在之所以获胜，那是因为四月份来了。(You win because April is coming.)

(图)当阿森那球迷意识到4月份到来的时候...

Naldepressing(阿森纳球迷)：在新年的第4个月，我厂毫不犹豫地赢了一场4-0，成功地将和第二名的分差缩小到了4分。(In the forth month of the year, a win could make us only 4 points after Spurs so we just score 4 goals without hesitation.)

【官宣啦！孔蒂下赛季执教切尔西】

Nukunuku(曼城球迷)：最好的球员在皇萨仁，但最优秀的教练却在英超。(Though the best players are in La liga and Bayern, the premier league is gonna have epic boss battles.)

chewkachu (阿森纳球迷)：也就是说，英超赛场将汇聚着曾夺取过英超冠军、西甲冠军、意甲冠军、德甲冠军以及欧冠冠军的那些顶级教练！下个赛季将会多么的疯狂！(So the Premier League will have managers that have won the Premier League, La Liga, Seria A, Bundesliga, and Champions League in RECENT TIMES?!!!!Shit's about to get crazy next season.)

James-199(切尔西球迷)：你忘了温格，他曾夺得过酋长杯冠军(And wenger. He's got those Emirates cups.)