国外也有段子手：欧冠席位也到手了，接下来说点啥呢？

大家好，欢迎收看本期“国外也有段子手”！上周比赛中出现了许多令人意想不到的爆冷情节，比如皇马0-2狼堡，比如巴萨0-1皇家社会，比如曼联0-3热刺……诶不对这个不是爆冷。总之，众多球队中只有莱斯特城和热刺依旧保持坚挺，延续着自己的强劲势头和英超冠军之争。只不过联赛只剩5轮了，热刺还来得及追上这7分吗？

【莱斯特城2-0客胜依旧7分领跑，确认进军下赛季欧冠】

(图)你我之间有什么共同点？我们都希望狐狸夺冠！

YSCory(法国球迷)：这下欧冠席位也拿到了，我就想知道拉涅利之后还能用啥攒人品。(Wonder what Ranieri will say after next match.)

ujussab(莱斯特城球迷)：不不不，我们刚确保第四，只是能踢欧冠资格赛了而已。(We only have a spot in the qualifiers right now because we're only guaranteed 4th.)

momster777(阿森纳球迷)：滚犊子，第四是我们的！(Fuck off, 4th place is ours.)

Carbonero(佩纳罗尔球迷)：我们一定是活在别人的FM存档里了。(Fuck we're in someone's FM save file.)

MattC53(曼联球迷)：把坎特放在跑步机上，他都能给一个第三世界国家供能。(Put Kantè on a treadmill and he'd power a 3rd world country)

wonderfuladventure(桑德兰球迷)：对，他之前都是跑步去训练，跑步回家的。(Yeah, he used to run to training and back home again)

Dob-is-Hella-Rad(雷丁球迷)：而且他一直住在法国，嗯。(Actually he still lived in France)

(图)赛后拉涅利热泪盈眶

HoboTed10801(阿森纳球迷)：我简直要爱死这个老头子了，他赋予球员们的激情和努力，还有一直不谈争冠的这份谦逊。多希望他是我爷爷啊。(I love everything about this guy. The way he instills passion and hard work in his players, the humility with which he denies Leicester's title chance- I wish he was my grandfather.)

kozeljko(热刺球迷)：我也希望有个工资这么高的爷爷。哈哈开玩笑，拉涅利真的是毫无黑点。无论他们最终能否夺冠，他为莱斯特城所做的一切都令人不可置信。为什么这段童话偏要在这赛季上演呢【叹息】(I too wish my grandfather was that well paid. Jokes aside, I agree. Can't seem to hate this guy. What he did to Leiceister is unreal, regardless if they win the title(which they will). I just wish he had picked a different season to do this, sigh.)

【皇马0-2爆冷客负狼堡，晋级形势堪忧】

Rhayadder(巴萨球迷)：讲道理，这场欧冠淘汰赛的重要性显然要比国家德比重要，可为什么你们会把卡瓦哈尔这样的世界级右后卫放在替补席上，而首发达尼洛呢……(Serious question, how do you use Carvajal, one of the best RB's in the world right now, in El Clasico, a match which won't change the outcome of La Liga this season, and then play Danilo in the match which actually matters for Real's trophy hopes.)

EyeMAdam(皇马球迷)：我！T！M！也！想！知！道！(Who! The! Fuck! knows!)

Khsr1(热刺球迷)：马塞洛真是个**。(So Marcelo's a cunt.)

Jimleader(埃弗顿球迷)：踢人，头槌，跳水。真是教科书般的**帽子戏法。(A kick out, a headbutt, and a dive. A perfect cunt-trick)

Greedy21(巴萨球迷)：可能马塞洛以为这是阿诺德-施瓦辛格吧。(Maybe Marcelo took Arnold as Schwarzenegger)

【巴萨0-1负皇家社会，仅领先马竞3分】

calvinswagg(巴萨球迷)：这个主场有毒。(This stadium is cursed.)

JustSmall(牙买加球迷)：近两场比赛，皇社先后击败了欧冠冠军和欧联冠军。(Real Sociedad have now defeated both the reigning Champions league winner as well as the reigning Europa League winner within two games.)

redblackjoker(皇社球迷)：皇家社会，欧洲之巅。(Real Sociedad confirmed top European Team.)

(图)梅西的第500球，等到天荒地老……

DivineVibrations(巴萨球迷)：我很少一场论，但梅西真是该休息了。(I'm not usually one to overreact but Messi should rest now)

ZiM0x(利物浦球迷)：感觉他现在的心思都不在球场上。(Looks like his head is somewhere else right now)

PhreshPits(阿森纳球迷)：可能……在巴拿马。(Probably Panama)

【热刺3-0完胜曼联，曼联6分钟连丢三球】

tocitus(曼联球迷)：中锋踢左前，左前踢中锋，右前踢中场，中场踢右前。我看场上所有人都是一脸懵逼。(ST playing LW, LW plying ST, RW playing CAM, CAM playing RW. Honestly neither of them knew what to do next.)

RxBandit(英格兰球迷)：这就是范师傅的哲学啊！如果连我们自己都不知道在踢什么，那对手就更不知道了！(Van Gaal's thoughts behind his team selection: " If our players are confused about the positions they are playing, the opposition will be confused as well...")

Hvanndal(曼联球迷)：……还不如一直塞车呢。(I wish we were still stuck in traffic.)

samreids(热刺球迷)：反正你们来也是输3-0，不来也是输3-0……要是不来的话场面还好看点。(United would have had the same score if they'd just not turned up at all. Probably would've put in a better performance too.)

Balfe(切尔西球迷)：说明你们大巴功夫还不到位啊。(You couldn't park the bus, that was your problem.)

distilledwill(莱斯特城球迷)：反正都延迟了，这场比赛不如就算0-0吧，对大家都好嘛，你们说呢？(Man U stuck in traffic. Just put this down as a nil-nil draw and move on guys? GUYS?)